butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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