I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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