im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
