so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
