so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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