Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
