I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
