Christians are straight up FREAKS
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
