Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
