I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
