At least make sure they are 18
Why
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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