My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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