the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
