So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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