We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
