I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
