Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
