You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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