We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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