So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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