I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
how drunk are you?
Several
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
