Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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