You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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