Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
