i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
