dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
