He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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