I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
