yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
