I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
