So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
