were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
