Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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