Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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