yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
