Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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