I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
