he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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