what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
