I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
