How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
