I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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