if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You have to summon your inner elephant
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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