No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
