AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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