I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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