Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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