Its about making memories worth repressing
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
