You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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