Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
