She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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