Can Purell be used as lube?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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