the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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