I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
