How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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