At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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