no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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