he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
