If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
