STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
