I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
