Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She said her name was "party"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
